JULIE ANN STEVENS

I had a heated argument with an over-sized chunk of romaine that refused to comply with me today. 

Stubbornly insisting it should fit in my mouth, I continued to force it over threshold of lips and teeth — and it continued to flop around outside my mouth. 

Exhausted and a wee bit self-conscious, I relented and set it free. 

Then I sulked — and stewed in my own sour juices.

Oh god, it is me. 

It’s definitely me, and though everything I’ve learned tells me this is the good news —

Because if it’s you — well then that is something you can control — you can change —

But god help me —

I’ve still got romaine rage.