Finding God within is not about following doctrine, but allowing yourself to relate to God experientially.
I am encouraged that God used my half-hearted consent to push me down — far deeper than I wanted to go, but to the only place I could truly find and trust him.
Finding God within, I’ve found, is not possible unless I ask God to show me my ego and then to take it from me through whatever means necessary.
I cannot do anything to cause the flow of grace over my process except to stand firmly in my circumstances just as they are — and that takes grit.