“Hello, this is Trudis,” the greeting begins. “I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m out chasing men ————- beep!”
“Hi Grandma, this is Julie —”
Exactly twice my age this year, Grandma Trudi is also twice the pistol and shows no signs of smoldering at 96. She hasn’t been able to see or walk for about 15 years and she’d be the first to tell you she hasn’t wiped her own butt in as long. Come to think of it, this is also the time frame when chasing men became her favorite thing to talk about.
“Grandma, how are you doing?”
“Ohhhh — just about everyone I caa-an,” she sing songs, and then breaks into a pearly grin featuring her own set of teeth.
You can just about hear one of her four children say “don’t encourage her” knowing she needs no encouragement to get the entire room doubled over and begging for more.
I promise this won’t be the last you’ll hear of her quips, comebacks and escapades both in and out of the nursing home. Because hunting down a good man after 95 is just a speck in the table of contents that headlines a book we’ll call Trudi’s antics.