craig quandary

This is a true story — the names have been withheld to protect the hilarious, but these are the facts as told to me:

It all started with a desire to truly know Mary Jane.  What I knew of Mary Jane up until yesterday was just talk — any talk about the love of big, wide bowls that go on and on that I’ve been part of for the last 15 years always included a reference to Mary Jane. 

Mary Jane.

Let’s do Mary Jane between Christmas and New Year’s.  Let’s get in the car and drive 2 hours to join a small crazy village of people standing in lift lines longer than Conda.  Let’s shiver 20 minutes in stop-and-go lift traffic due to wind speeds.  Let’s unload at the top in awe as we arrive at our destination.  Mary Jane.

Who is Mary Jane?  Simply put: a brilliant business woman … “as bits and pieces of history and lore are revealed, what began as an innocent settlement of miners, rail yard workers and loggers in the late 1800s, would later mark the “peak” of a woman named Mary Jane and her clever business sense for supply and demand.” 

Like a true lady of the evening, MJ gave through 30 mph winds and blustery conditions, and when we were spent, we slipped happily into the lower level parlor frequented by the lunch packin crowd of Winter Park goers.

After thawing out with chili dogs, we braced ourselves for another session between the icy sheets — the men heading off for the restrooms, and the women several bites and equipment tugs behind.

What a surprise when we reached the pile of skis to discover the men’s skis untouched. 

How could we have known that one of our own was stranded in a stall in the men’s room without TP sitting out his fear of Craig.msp.2007? 

Watch your wide stance, keep your hands close, and no tapping or banging. 

What’s a modern man without a square to do?