JULIE ANN STEVENS

Well, well.

The screwdriver, it turns out, is part of a larger family of ominous tools known as prying tools. 

And if that’s just not handy dandy enough —

One of its key applications, I learned from the police-issued “business alert” poster hanging in our office kitchen, is —

go ahead, shout it out loud —

forcible entry!

And if your heart’s still not racin’, well — get this —

The perp is described as “well-dressed.”  Stylish and charming, no doubt.

Because ladies, I kid you not — guess what he’s after?

Your laptops!

(Make mine a Phillips.)