account balances

They’re down.

And here’s the thing —

I’m up.

Yes, up — as in —

Uplifted by the possibility that this downturn will cause an —

Uptick —

On an altogether different grid. 

A grid where who we are and what we can do and are willing to do for ourselves and others is valued more than —

What we can buy or pay others to do — and in some cases —

How much we can throw away or afford to waste.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’ve nothing against being responsible and creating reasonable financial safety nets.  And I’m not happy that people are feeling devastated about not being able to leave the workforce this year after years of faithful investing for retirement.

But I am encouraged by the sea change promised with this shocking and significant drop in account balances. 

Because, perhaps, when it no longer makes sense to give a disproportionate share of our lives to diversifying and growing our portfolios —

There just might be greater acceptance for making choices that diversify and grow our lives.  

Ok — I admit it’s the belief that I would not survive without account balances —

That separates me most days from my truth — splinters my life into two pieces —

The one where I give the best I have to what I think I need to do to build my account balances  — commute, cube, computer —

And the one leftover—

Which I divide between recovering from the three c’s and quite frankly — and pathetically I must add —

Thinking about and talking about ways to escape the three c’s altogether and live the life I really want which is the life I think everyone would want if they could live it but maybe just maybe I’m wrong and anyway what does it matter whether everyone would want it or not and could have it or not —

But, wait —

Doesn’t it only matter what my truth is and whether I am willing to pay the price to live it?

I mean, do I really need a drastic drop in the market with people jumping out of windows to give me permission to pursue my joy?  Do I really need a worldwide sea change in values to have the guts to do what I know is right for myself?

Isn’t this really the message I’ve got for myself today? 

That I’ve been free all along to diversify and grow my life on my terms and —

If what brings me joy is —

Clearing land to grow things, gathering fresh bouquets from my own gardens, experimenting with color and fabric — and making old treasures, new —

Using a needle and thread, rolling out dough, and fixing things —

Cool breezes through open windows and lazy walks and pointless conversation —

Then, it’s up to me to make the change. 

And account balances — up or down —

Are just part of the arsenal of artificial excuses I fall back on when I don’t have the guts to —

Live my truth.

Well — ok, then.

Guess I told —

Me.