I’m not sure what I’m about to say.

My head is empty.  Dark nights of the soul.  Soul searching with no end in sight. 

It’s been unbearable.  Because despite numerous interventions —-

I cannot change it.

Cannot will it to change.  Force it to change.  Or politely ask it to change. 

Won’t help to put a smile on it.  Or choose my attitude.

I’ve tried — all of these tactics. 

It persists. 

And I cannot accept it.

But I can accept that I cannot change it —

And that it has now changed me — in ways I regret —

My god, why do I always hang on too long?

My art flows from the patterns & paths of my lived experience which ⏤ like yours ⏤ are at once deeply personal and entirely universal.

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