I’m not sure what I’m about to say.
My head is empty. Dark nights of the soul. Soul searching with no end in sight.
It’s been unbearable. Because despite numerous interventions —-
I cannot change it.
Cannot will it to change. Force it to change. Or politely ask it to change.
Won’t help to put a smile on it. Or choose my attitude.
I’ve tried — all of these tactics.
And I cannot accept it.
But I can accept that I cannot change it —
And that it has now changed me — in ways I regret —
My god, why do I always hang on too long?