JULIE ANN STEVENS

Translation: “too much noise.” 

Said in a commanding voice while scrunching up and covering your ears, this amusing signature of a friend’s little South Brooklyn Italian father works great to express annoyance at anything disruptive that might come into your world. 

I’ve used it liberally with moderate passion since I heard it on Halloween.  And it felt good.  Worked like a charm.

beepbeep-boopboop-bopbop — visions of cute little Italian man in distress.  Ahhh — all better. 

That is, until today.  With six shopping days ’til Christmas and me – the hesitant cautious dreamy driver – freaking out behind the wheel on jammed roadways and parking lots, it became apparent that the holidays require a stronger version of this expression – one with more aggressive hand motions.

beepbeep!!!boopboop!!!bopbop!!!

For the love of God, gimme some mercy mild!!!