I think it’s only fair to issue a warning to people likely to be in my path.
I’ve given up sugar.
I mean — candy. I’ve given up candy.
Well — not all all candy. Just anything with the word gummy in it, or that comes in primary or tropical colors.
I am still allowing myself an occasional piece of chocolate. Organic dark chocolate truffles from Whole Foods and Ghiradelli dark chocolate white mint squares are permitted.
But as I said — gummy anything, Dots, Jujubes, Skittles, and — oh god, I can’t believe I’m doing this — Jelly Bellies — are out.
This includes licorice pastels and of course, Good & Plenty — all the way g-o-n-e. Bye-bye. (sniff) Mike and Ikes, too — and Good & Fruity — if they ever come back from the dead. (oh, how I have missed them)
But thankfully I still have One Day at a Time — unless I’m mistaken and that’s a new name for a gorgeous colored shot of sugar.
It’s been, let’s see — when did my boss receive that case of Belly Flops? Seems like a year ago. But yeah, probably more like six days. Six beastly days without even a lick of a Tootsie Pop.
But I’m ok. Really — don’t worry about me — and hey, no matter how bad you feel for me, how much you want to help me through this —
Don’t you dare throw me a Lifesaver.
But if you did — hypothetically speaking, of course — could you make it cherry?
(I love you forever.)